Nachos
by xXAlmighty-SmallestXx
Summary: My first story!     I decided to start off with an Invader Zim story. :D Its RaPR, which, if you didn't know, means Red and Purple Romance... Which, if you are familiar with your Invader Zim characters, means it's two males. I suck at summaries. Pls R&R?


"Nachos"

By Remle Xonnel

An Invader Zim Fanfiction

Warning! Contains RaPR and slight mentions of ZaDR... Which if you didnt already know, means malexmale. If you dont like, please dont read! Nobody is forcing you to read this! You could easily click on any other fanfiction in the database! Characters are pretty OOC.

Disclaimer! I don't own Invader Zim! :) That being said, enjoy!

"Dang it... Where did my nachos go...?"

A slightly aggrivated Irken wearing purple who was digging through his mini-fridge just a moment ago emerged with a scowl. He knew EXACTLY who took his nachos.

"Red..." He growled angrily. If it was the last thing he was going to do, he would make sure Red would pay dearly for stealing the last of his precious nachos.

Out on the prowl for said red-clad Irken leader, Tallest Purple stormed out of their room fuming. He was soooooo dead.

Red sat lazily in his chair in front of the transmission viewing screen, munching on some nachos he found laying around in Purple's fridge. He was receiving yet another transmission from that damn defective Irken they sent to Earth accidentally six years ago, Zim. Zim was terrible at being an Invader. Heck, he was just terrible at being an Irken! Operation Impending Doom II had ended three years ago, but Zim had yet to conquer the planet he wound up on BY MISTAKE when the Tallest sent him out into uncharted space in an attempt to finally rid themselves of him. The only reason the Tallests kept receiving transmissions from him and playing along with the belief they wanted Earth to add to their collection of planets was because they found it amusing to watch Zim fail horribly at everything he did. And because it was ALWAYS funny to watch someone hurt themselves.

"So, My Tallest, does my badger plan not AMAZE you?" Zim asked confidently. Red stiffled a laugh and nearly choked on the nachos he was eating. Zim always came up with the stupidest of plans to conquer the planet. One time, he had claimed that a nearby planet, (Marts or Mares or something like that...) was a giant spaceship, and that he was going to use it to squish out all life on Earth.

The tiny Irken on the screen was wearing a badger suit, and his retarded SIR unit was dressed as what appeared to be a snake. This time, Zim planned to dress as a badger and make Gir look like a snake and throw mushrooms at President Man until he cried and gave up his position as ruler of the country Zim wound up in on Earth. Talk about RETAAAAAAAAARDEEEEEEEEED!

The big headed boy was back again on Zim's side of the screen. He waved goofily at Red, and Red waved back. Red liked the human far better than he liked Zim. Gir, upon seeing the human enter the room, glomped him.

"MARY'S BACK!" Gir screeched. Then he looked up at Dib and giggled.

"Why dont you and the mastah go play Nakkie Leap Frog again?"

Zims eyes widened in a mixture of horror and embarassment and his face flushed fuschia.

"Uh, sorry My Tallest! I gotta go! The, uh, sponge monster is breaking free again! Yeah! The sponge monster! Ahhh, noooooooo!"

Zim cut the transmission and Red started guffawing uncontrollably. Suddenly, someone clearing their throat made him stop mid-laugh and turn around with a blank look on his face.

"It WAS you! I KNEW you took my nachos!" Purple spat with seething rage. As he glowered at the culprit caught nacho-handed, Red smiled sheepishly and sunk in his seat, hiding Purples nachos behind his back.

"Uh, I-I can explain!" Red started. Purple didnt care what excuse he was about to make. Now that he saw there were still some nachos left, Purple was intent upon getting them. Which meant he'd have to play dirty. Purples expression softened and he sighed.

"If you wanted them, all you had to do was ask, Red. I would have given them to you."

At this, Red sat back up and looked at Purple with uncentainty.

"R-really?" he blinked, shocked. Normally, Purple would have went off on him and tried to pulverize him for taking his nachos. (The Irken was VERY protective of his snackage.)

Purple smiled kindly. _'Fucking jerk...' _He thought to himself.

"Of course. Next time, just ask, that way my squiddily spooch wont be expecting them and they just up and disappear all of a sudden," Purple kept smiling, getting closer to Red.

Red noticed how close Purple was getting and he squirmed uncomfortably in his chair, slightly nervous. Purple was standing right in front of Red, and he leaned down towards him. Red flinched and put his arms (Nachos still in hand) in front of his face, expecting Purple to haul off and punch him. When he felt a weight on his lap, he opened his eyes slowly to see Purple sitting on him, facing him. Red blushed bright heliotrope and started to protest, but his words were crushed by Purple's lips. Reds eyes widened in shock when Purple started kissing him more intensely. Reds eyes fluttered shut as he started kissing Purple back.

Just as he started getting really into the kiss, Purple jumped off of Red's lap, snatching the nachos as he did, and ran out into the hallway, eating them as he ran.

Red just stared after him in disbelief.

"...Da FOOK?" He shouted, slightly hurt, but more angry than anything else.

Red glared angrily at the door Purple ran out of and screeched loudly, enraged.

"CURSE YOU, PURPLE! CURSE YOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUUUU!"

After having gotten over the shock, Red began his hunt for the purple idiot who stole his nachos... he stole.

After five minutes of searching, he realized there was only one place Purple would go: Back to their room. So off he headed to confront Purple.

Purple sat on his bed, happily munching on his reclaimed nachos. He hoped he would be done long before Red realized where he was. But that hope was short lived as Red bursted through the door.

"YOU JERK! GIVE ME MY FUCKING NACHOS BACK!" he boomed.

"NO! THESE WERE MY NACHOS IN THE FIRST PLACE AND YOU STOLE THEM FROM ME! I WAS MERELY RECLAIMING WHAT RIGHTFULLY BELONGED TO ME IN THE FIRST PLACE!" Purple shouted back at Red.

"AND WHATS WORST IS THAT YOU KISSED ME! THAT WAS A DIRTY TRICK! SO NOW I'M GOING TO REPAY THE FAVOR, PURPLE!"

Before he had enough time to react, Purple found himslef pinned to the wall by Red, the ever-present nachos still in hand. He started to struggle.

"Get the fuck off of me!" He screeched. Red smiled evilly.

Purple was out-muscled. Purple had always been more of the brainiac of the two. He was a mechanic, after all. Red was more physically fit than him, although you wouldnt be able to guess by looking at him. He was an ex-soldier. That was years ago, but he still had the physicality of a soldier. And mentality. A soldier never gave up, no matter how bad the odds, no matter who was at the receiving end of his gun.

Purple just had the misfortune of being at the wrong end of Reds gun that day.

Red moved his face closer to Purples. Purple froze.

"Whats the matter, Pur? You sure can dish out, but when its time for the penalty game, you freeze with fear. Whats the matter? Cant stand to be the loser?" he snorted. Purple shut his eyes and gulped nervously.

Red moved closer to him.

"Well neither can I."

Red smiled maliciously then roughly pressed his lips against Purple's. His Snake-like tongue forced itself into Purple's mouth and crept its way around his tongue. Purple's face flushed deeply and he moaned into Red's mouth. Red ground his hips against Purple's. He gasped. He couldn't take it, it was too much for him, and unconsciously, he dropped the nachos.

Red pulled back quickly, a huge grin on his face. Before Purple could come to his senses, it was too late. Red made a dive for the nachos. He successfully retrieved them and ran off, screaming down the hallway in victory.

"VICTORYYYY! GLORIOUS VICTORYYYYYYYYY!"

Purple blinked stupidly.

Purple sighed and glanced at the floor, and his expression brightened. Red had actually wound up spilling all the nachos on the floor. Purple smiled happily and got on his knees and ate the nachos off of the floor.

"WOOT! I like NACHOS!"

Purple stopped eating, sat up, and looked around in confusion. He could have sworn he heard Gir...

"Ah well!" He shrugged happily and continued to devour the nachos.

The moral of this story is Gir likes to make waffles. :D


End file.
